Learning to Love
by brilliantbritooobsessed
Summary: Series of one-shots following Felicity and Pippa's relationship. Please R&R. Rated T just in case.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but plot. **

**I hope you enjoy reading this. Please review!**

**Pippa**

The moon cast an eerie glow off her pale face as she slept. I could not help but notice the way her blonde hair blended with the white sheet making it almost impossible to see where one began and the other ended. She stirred slightly as if something intruded on her perfect solitude.

I glanced away from Felicity's sleeping figure in hopes of erasing the odd, fluttering sensation in my stomach. Over the past few months that feeling had become more frequent and it was really starting to concern me. I thought that maybe I had yet another affliction to add to my list, right below epilepsy.

Thoughts like this wandered aimlessly through my mind as the minutes passed slowly. A sharp groan pulled me out of my mind. I turned quickly toward my dearest friend only to find her face screwed up in a grimace. Her hands were clenched tight and she was violently kicking and punching.

"Stop it! Get off!" she screeched as tears flowed down her pale cheeks. I leaped out of bed and hastened to her side. "Felicity! Felicity! Wake up; you're dreaming!" I shouted as I peeled her arms to her sides. Suddenly I was peeling backwards from a hit in the stomach by her foot.

I ran back to her side and climbed on top of her so she had no where to kick. I harnessed her arms in mine and pinned her tight against the bed. "FELICITY!" I bellowed only a mere inches from her ear. She finally heard.

Her watery, pale eyes darted across the room as she regained control of her senses. "Wh—what happened?" she asked suddenly, her voice hoarse from all the screaming.

"You had a bad dream. But it is alright now. I'm here," I soothed in a voice sounding so much like my mother that it made my stomach churn. Suddenly that ache in my gut was replaced by a sensation of flurry wings—as if a hummingbird was set loose inside me. I was on top of Felicity; her body soft and warm beneath me.

"Thank you," Felicity acknowledged after a moments pause. And yet, she did not as k me to move. I shifted uncomfortably causing my most sensitive spot to roam over her thighs. A tingle so unexpected and lovely began in a place I had never allowed myself to explore. "Are you alright?" Felicity inquired at my sudden stiffening.

"Yes, I—I just remembered that you kicked me while I was trying to wake you." I mumbled as I slid off of her slim figure and onto the floor. "I'm sorry," she said. "Please don't go back to your bed tonight. I don't want to be alone," Felicity added in the most pathetic sounding voice I had ever heard from her. Felicity was not one to sound weak, and yet here she was, vulnerable and frail.

I slid silently under her sheets, but was careful to leave a small amount of space between the two of us. I instinctively knew something was going wrong inside me and Felicity was the cause. "So what happened in your dream?" I asked to make conversation. Felicity looked at me with pleading eyes filled to the brim with worry. "Please don't make me tell you," she begged. Felicity never begged before then. "It is far too awful and not important regardless," she added sounding much more her usual self. And yet, the fear remained in her eyes.

"What is important is that you were here to wake me from it so I should not suffer any more than needed." Felicity's eyes finally lit up as she gave me her most charming smile. This smile she saves for me and only me. My stomach flutters again as she takes my hand in her clammy one. "What's got you so worked up tonight?" she questioned. "You seem…uptight."

"It's nothing. I'm just anxious for tomorrow," I lied. Felicity seemed to believe my reply or at least accept that I have things I don't want to tell. It was probably the latter of the two because Felicity always seemed to know when I was dishonest. I could do the same for her. We always had such a strong bond that it was nearly impossible for one to get away with mistreating the other. At least that is what I thought.

And yet, I was having odd feelings every time Felicity touched me. And I thought about her more than I should have. There was no denying that our friendship was changing in the past few months. Physically nothing changed; we have always been very close and eager to hold hands and hug. But Felicity had become much more seductive in the way she talked.

She constantly talked about her goal not to marry. Moreso though, Felicity was growing a fascination with romantic talk. She read far too much of the forbidden literature while she was at home. This caused her to be spontaneous and leave her comments unfiltered. At first I was nervous by her seductive comments, but as time wore on I had become accustomed to the way she spoke of the marriage bed.

"Do you love me Pip?" Felicity whispered so quietly I almost missed it completely. I squeezed her hand a little tighter and replied, "You know I do. Why else would have I put up with you for all these years?" She rolled her eyes and nudged me gently in the ribs. "Are you sure you don't fear me like the others?"

"Absolutely not. You are my only friend here Fee. You mean more to me than anyone else in the world. I imagine I won't even love my husband as much as I love you."

"Well of course you won't if your mother gets her way and marries you off to the highest bidder." I frowned at the reminder of my mother's goals for my life. Money was everything to her. "Don't remind me," I groaned. "If you are so worried, don't marry. Be like me. We could run away together, just you and I," Felicity suggested. I laughed because I had nothing to say. I wanted it desperately, but knew it could never happen.

Well we will just have to wait and see. But, for now, I need sleep," I said after a considerable pause. Felicity slid closer to me and wrapped her strong arms securely around me. I felt more secure than I had felt in years in the embrace of Felicity. That night I fell asleep with that peculiar flickering singing me to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

**I hope you like this. If you want more please review!**

**Felicity**

"I do wish we could've seen her face when we closed the door," Pippa whined as we entered our spacious room. I stepped in behind her and shut the door as quietly as possible. I remember thinking that there was no reason to wake the whole school.

"I can imagine it just fine," I sighed as I slid my dress off. Pippa was doing the same on her side of the room. We had abandoned our dressing screens months ago on the basis of friends have nothing to hide. Pippa had always been more nervous about nudity than me, but even she eventually realized the stupidity of hiding when we do not even undress fully.

"Well yes, I can imagine it too. But it's not the same as seeing the look of pure terror on her face. Oh my. I bet her eyes got even bigger!"

"That's not possible," I replied. I could not help but notice the way Pippa's frail arm reflected the moon light. Her long locks of black hair spread out wildly as she shook her hair out of its tight bun. At that moment she looked to me more beautiful than ever. My eyes loomed hungrily over her body.

Pulling myself out of my desiring thoughts, I asked, "What do you think of Gemma? Should we allow her to join our group?"

Pippa was now completely dressed in her nightgown. She crawled into her bed slowly, spending much too much time fluffing her pillow. I leaped into mine as if I was drowning and that was my life boat. Pip glanced up at me and rolled her perfect violet eyes. "We should wait and see how she reacts tomorrow. I bet she tells Nightwing."

For some reason I could not see Gemma doing that. She was the first person to stand up to me in years. For that I knew she would react vengefully. I was interested to see what that meant. "She won't tell. I know it. I rather like her though," I remark coolly.

A small glance to Pip's bed revealed how much these words hurt her. She looked as if I just suggested that we should no longer be friends. "Who knows? She might prove to be a better friend than you," I teased. Pip pouted in the most ridiculous exaggeration causing a hearty laugh to escape. After hearing my giddiness, Pip accepted that I was only kidding.

"You are a terribly mean girl, you know that Felicity Worthington?" Pippa's eyes were dancing. My stomach was burning as the heat in me rose. I knew I could use this opportunity to be close to her. "And you Miss. Cross are far too bold," I stated as I sprung out of bed. In less than a second I was tickling Pippa in all the places I knew she would hate.

"I surrender!" she laughed as I seized her in my arms. I had her head locked under my forearm as my other arm squeezed the slim skin on her stomach. "I'm sorry! I surrender!" she continued to giggle. I did finally let go, but not until we were both out of breath and exhausted. Pippa's rosy cheeks were pinker than ever. Her hair was knotted. And yet, she was still stunning.

I was pleasantly surprised when Pippa tugged me down onto her pillow. I allowed myself to imagine that she wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her. Just like the night before, I imagined things I should not have. Regardless, there was denying that the previous night Pip had stiffened at the exact moment I had sighed with pleasure due to her moving body.

"Fee?" Pip asked quietly, still out of breath.

"Hmm?"

"Do you believe in love?"

I thought about this question with more concentration than I had used in a long while. Did I believe in love? That was easy; no. But then what were the feelings I had for Pippa. I knew without a doubt that I cared for her the way a woman should a man. Was it love?

"No," I sighed. "I wish I could."

"You don't love me?" The question caught me off guard. I didn't know if she felt love for me or if she was becoming suspicious of my motives. "Do you love me?" I replied in my most relaxed tone even though every nerve in my body was buzzing.

"Can I tell you something…secret?" Pippa returned. All these questions were straining my mind. I just wanted to know if she felt it too. "Sure," I said as I took her hand in mine for encouragement.

"Sometimes I wish you were a man." A chilly gust of wind blew through our window as I dazed into Pip's wide eyes. She bit down on her lip as she waited for a reply on my end. "I sometimes wish that too," I finally admit. "If I were, would you marry me Pippa Cross?"

"I would," she promised earnestly. And that was enough to make me happy for years. I leaned close and pressed my lips gently on Pippa's cheek. I didn't pull away right away because I knew that was the moment things could change. When I did finally slide my lips off her skin, the taste lingered. I slept blissfully that night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for reading. Once again, I own nothing but storyline. I hope you enjoy. I would greatly appreciate it if I got some feedback **

**Pippa**

Scientists say that the world is constantly spinning, and for the first time in my life, I believe it. At least, my world is spinning. The effects from the whiskey have me wondering whether it is my bed spinning or the ceiling. Felicity stumbles through undressing on her side of the room. I am startled by the sound of shattering glass. When I look over I find her laughing in the puddle of glass.

"You should clean that up, Felishity," I slur. But soon enough I am laughing right along with my distraught friend. "Come here," I demand in between giggles. She stands awkwardly and makes her way over to the edge of my bed. "I have a shecret." She leans closer—close enough to taste the liquor from her breath. "You are the most smart person I know," I spew out in measured tones.

"I agree," she remarks, blowing air into my face. Her breath smells slightly of apple and causes memories to flood my mind with the familiarity. I frown at the picture in my mind. They way Felicity looked after kissing Gemma is enough to make me throw up tonight's dinner right now. "What's wrong my dear little child?" Felicity asks with obvious concern. She seems to be sobering before me and it makes me wonder if she has been pretending.

"Where did you hear about Sappho?" I question to avoid my real question. The jealousy I felt in that moment was undeniable. Yet, I don't think I should tell Felicity. Especially in the state I am in. Part of me knows that I am walking the line by even bringing this up. My drunken state craves the feeling of skin against my lips. And this confuses me immensely.

"Well in a book of course," Felicity responds with no trace of worry or fear. "Would you like me to recite some of her poetry?" I nod in response secretly longing to hear what Sappho had to say about women. "He's equal with the god's, that man who sits across from you, face to face, close enough to sip your voice's sweetness. And what excites my mind, your laughter glittering. So, when I see you for a moment my voice goes, my tongue freezes. Fire, delicate fire in the flesh. Blind, stunned, the sound of thunder in my ears. Shivering with sweat, cold tremors over the skin. I turn the color of dead grass and I'm an inch from dying."

By the time Felicity ends her recitation, her face is less than an inch from mine. I know not how long I have been holding my breath, but it whooshes out suddenly at her proximity. The world is no longer spinning; everything except our deep breathing has stopped. Far too soon, Felicity clears her throat and puts a decent amount of space between us.

"Do you agree with her?" I ask suddenly, my blunt address surprising us both.

"Sometimes," she whispers. Her eyes bore holes in my soul. I cannot help but tear up at the realization that Felicity loves Gemma. I deserve her love; I've known her longer and I am a real friend. My heart wrenches because I attract all the wrong people. Being beautiful is no fun if it does not get you everyone.

"Well I wish you two the best!" I angrily reply as I roll away from the girl I thought was my greatest friend.

"Who?" She wonders. Her hand falls lightly on my waist. I refuse to answer her question. She must know who I mean. She did after all kiss her less than an hour ago. "Pippa, who do you think I have feelings for?"

"Gemma!" The alcohol is making me more docile than usual. Felicity's laughter causes me to roll over again so I can see her. She grins and giggles as I made the most ridiculous assertion ever. "You kissed her," I say, now defensive.

"That I did," she states "But I didn't like it."

"Yes you did."

"No Pip, I did not," she firmly insists. "I wanted it to be a different pair of lips against mine. Not Gemma's."

"Ann's?" I ask now, feeling more hurt than before.

"Are you really that naïve Pip? Could you seriously believe I would have romantic interest in Ann?"

"Well I don't know Felicity! You kissed that oaf. Maybe you like damsels in distress too!"

"Pippa," she softens. "It's you. I want to kiss you." The silence spreads out like a quilt made of all the fabric in the world. I find that my mind cannot process this revelation.

With a sigh I finally manage to say something. Unfortunately it is not very smart or clever. "Me?"

"Is that a surprise?"

"No, I guess not."

"I said I would marry you if I was a man."

"You don't need to justify yourself."

"What do I say if not that?" she asks—her overconfident facade gone.

"Don't say anything," I gulp. "Kiss me."

Felicity takes no time to debate whether or not to obey my orders. Rather, she grabs hold of my hips and slides her sternum over mine until her face is level with mine. Her lips catch my own and hold tight. She inhales sharply causing a small tug on my lower lip. Her tongue reaches out and gently grazes the outline of my mouth. And with that she pulls away. It is over.

She returns to her bed without a word. I am left wondering what the future holds and hoping there is more of that coming.

**PLEASE REVIEW. I AM NOT GOING TO WRITE ANYMORE UNTIL I GET SOME REVIEWS.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I sure do wish I could have come up with this amazing series, but I didn't. The characters belong to Libba Bray and all her genius.**

**Pippa**

Last night shouldn't of happened and I am not too naïve to know it. I steal a glance to Felicity's bed only to find her awake and staring back. Suddenly my tongue is very thick and covered with cotton. Fee's sleepy grin stops my breathing all together. I have not the faintest idea how to apologize for my brashness last night.

"How much do you remember?" Felicity asks while yawning. My cheeks heat up giving Felicity the answer to her question. "I'm terribly sorry!" I exclaim forcefully. Felicity sits up slowly with one hand on her forehead.

"Don't be sorry. We were drunk."

"That's no excuse for my behavior. Really Fee, I am terribly sorry. That was inappropriate and wrong of me." Felicity seems to be thinking very hard about my apology and I cannot help but worry that she won't accept it. Consider myself replaced.

She stands slowly and stretches. Turning slowly to look at my agonizing face, Fee responds, "It wasn't a big deal Pip. How about we just forget it ever happened. Can we agree to that?"

"You're not vexed?"

"I will be if you keep acting this way. Pippa, I honestly am not upset. You had no control over yourself. I don't blame you. If anything it is my fault."

This remark puzzles me. How could it be Felicity's fault? I'm the one who told her to kiss me. Then again, she did it. "How is it your fault?"

Felicity stops digging through her closet for her uniform. She turns and the expression of pure dread painted to her face startles me. She seems to be loathing herself more than words can ever begin to describe. "I'm sorry Pip. I took advantage of you when you were intoxicated. I'm the one at fault."

"You weren't sober either Fee. We are both at fault." The tortured expression still hasn't faltered. "Was it that bad of a kiss?" I ask suddenly self-conscious. The light returns to Fee's eyes and a small grin spreads from the grimace.

"Of course not. You were," she pauses. "You were exquisite."

I smile in spite of myself. "As were you."

Felicity seems pleased. After a moment's pause, she remarks, "You better get ready. Breakfast starts in ten minutes."

**Review if you want more!**


	5. Author's Note

Dearest Readers,

I am sorry to keep you waiting for a new chapter for so very long. And I am also sorry that this is only an author's note, not a chapter. If I falsely got your hopes up, I apologize. I do intend to finish this story eventually. Lately I have been dealing with quite a lot in my personal life. Additionally I am working two jobs and trying to manage some semblance of normalcy. At the moment I just don't have the emotional and physical strength to continue on with a progressive story. I do intend to continue writing (because in some ways it is the only consistency in my life), but I cannot commit to any large undertakings like the three stories I am currently engaged in. I will do my best to upload one-shots and other short pieces, but I cannot make any promises. I ask that you bear with me and have patience as I sort through this frustrating time in my life. Thank you for your continued support. Until next time, goodnight.

-Bri


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